Top 10 Reasons You Need a Vacation from your Dogs

1. When your spouse's shocked voice shouts from the shop, "Honey, come quick, I've had a terrible accident!", you show up breathless with a mop and scent neutralizer.

2. You wake panicked in the middle of the night when you sense you suddenly have room to move your body around the bed.

3. You can't sleep unless you hear lots of heavy breathing in your bedroom

4.The emergency number on your speed dialer is for the dog's veterinarian.

5. When someone taps you on the shoulder, you tell them firmly, "Off!", then "Down!".

6. When tempers flare among your family members, you pull out the long forefinger, pointedly raise your voice and shout "Go to your crates, now!"

7 When someone asks what's for dinner you automatically reply, "Kibbles and Bits".

8. When you are walking a ring around the local park and someone points at you and your dog, you raise both arms over your head, whoop and go looking for a ribbon.

9. When shopping, your best friend asks you what you think of that snappy suit in the window, and you scowl and mutter, "Useless, it is the same color as my dog and it has no pockets."

10.When your neighbor points to her crawling infant and asks you what you think of her new baby, you study it for a minute and reply, "Well, a little short on coat and long in the hock, but that kid has a great topline!"

Buddys Joke-Two Little Girls

Hi there doggies and doggy lovers. I have another dog joke for you this week. Hope you like it:

Two little girls are sitting and talking about the first girl's dog.

"My father's been training our dog to protect out house from strangers. He's been putting on disguises and getting her to attack him."

The second little girls asks, "Is she learning?"

The first girl answers, "She certainly is. Now every time a stranger comes to the house, she bites Daddy."

So hope you all had a great Valentine's Day and a great week!

Dog Joke-Call to an Airline

A call to an Airline

An airline customer service agent got a call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board.

He told her the dog would be welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. He also explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over.

"I'll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!" she said, and hung up.

Cute Dog Quotes

Last week's quotes were so popular, that I'm adding more this week!

Cute Dog Quotes

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. – Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. – Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. – Will Rogers

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. – Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. – Andy Rooney

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. – Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. – Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. – Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. – Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! – Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. – Robert A. Heinlein

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look hat says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' – Dave Barry

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. – Phil Pastoret

Buddys Joke-Dog Wisdom

Here are 21 great dog quotes. Hope you enjoy them!

Dog Wisdom…

1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous

2) Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers

3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers

4) There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams

5) A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings

6) We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam

7) Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner

9) A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley

10) Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. -Dave Barry

11) Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones

12) If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown

13) My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein

14) Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler

15) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

16) Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

17) Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. -Dave Miliman

18) If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain

19) Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras

20) If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. -Phil Pastoret

21) My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. — an OleHoss

Buddys Joke- To God from the Dog

Here's a funny dog joke from Buddy to get your work week started with a smile

To God — From, The Dog

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember – to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.

4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.

10. I will not throw up in the car.

11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last question . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

All I need to know I learned from my Dog

All I need to know I learned from my Dog…

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

Don't go out without ID.

Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.

Be aware of when to hold your tongue and when to use it.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibilty (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

You Know You Are A Dog Person-Part 4

You Know You Are A Dog Person…Part 4

You have dog hair stuck on the tape on wrapped gifts.

You have dog toys and treats in your briefcase.

You have several albums filled with 8×10 pictures of your dogs but you can't locate any pictures of the kids to send to grandma.

You show up at the car dealers with a ruler to measure and see if your dog crate will fit. Before the actual purchase, you make the dealer cringe by insisting you load both crate and dog into the shiney new vehicle to make sure it all fits.

You can't get the groceries in the car because it's
A) already full of dog food
B) you have that big old crate in there.

You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby.

You remove all the seats from the van except the two in the front so you have room for crates…

The passenger seat is full of dog stuff.

You cringe at the price of food in the grocery store but think nothing of the cost of dog food or treats.

You have six squeaky hedgehogs…but only one with a squeaky that works.

You put popcorn in the clean dog dish for movie night.

You pull out your credit card and bits of lover are stuck to it.

When you get your latest roll of film and there isn't a single picture of a two-legged person in it…

People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes; they realize it is a hopeless case.

We hope you enjoyed are 4 part series in how to know if you are a dog   person. Leave a comment if you have something to add to our list!

You Know You Are A Dog Person-Part 3

You Know You Are A Dog Person…Part 3

You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste too).

You shovel a zigzag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all his favorte spots.

You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.

You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.

You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely related to you.

Your dog is the star of your web site.

Your parents refer to your dog as their granddog.

You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.


Your jewelry box contains no jewels…just those fasteners from various kennels.


Every time you read the name Bb, you think the guy's first name is Best of Breed.

Your house isn't carpeted-the fuzzy furballs under your feet are soft enough…

Your hungry hubby comes home from work, lifts the cover of the pan on the stove and says, "Is this people food or dog food?"

Your hungry hubbyonce ate the dog food and asked for seconds.

You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on your dog to give a quick run through on your own hair.


At your dinner parties, you always double check the butter before putting it on the table.

Come back next Friday for our final installment of How to know if you are a dog person.

You Know You Are A Dog Person…Part 2

You Know You Are A Dog Person…Part 2

Artificial Intelligence: AI hd

Road Trip film

You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.

You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for poop pick-ups pop out.

You get an extra long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit in hip deep water.

Your dog os getting old an arithritic, so you go buy lumber and build a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.

Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.

You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard yelling "Scruffy, pee!" over and over again, while Scruffy tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).

You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.

You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).

You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.

You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.

You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs her walk.

You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.

Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.

Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).

You keep an extra water dish in your second floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor…)

your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.

Come back next week for Part 3!

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