Buddys Dog Joke- Even more Shorties

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

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"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."~Mark Twain

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Just when you think life is a bitch, it goes and has puppies.

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Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

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Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."~Unknown

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Buddys Dog Joke- A few more Shorties

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."~Andy Rooney

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"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of  a weird religious cult."~Rita Rudner

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"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet…so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper and you get more feet."~Rita Rudner

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"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."~Jerry Seinfield

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Money will buy a fine dog, but only love will make him wag his tail!

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Buddys Dog Joke- A few Shorties

My neighbor has a dog that's a snob. His name is Fido but he spells it Phydeaux.

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Did you hear the story about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lay awake all night wondering if there was a dog?

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"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."~Josh Billings

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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."~Dave Barry

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"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."~Dereke Bruce

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Buddys Dog Joke-What is a Dog

• Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture int he house.
• They can hear a package of food opening a half a block away, but don't hear you when you are in the same room.
• They can look dumb and lovable at the same time.
• They growl when they are not happy.
• When you want to play, they want to play.
• When you want to be alone, they want to play.
• They leave their toys everywhere.
• They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

CONCLUSION: They are tiny little men in fur coats.

Buddys Dog Joke-Show Dog Terms Explained

• Pet dogs raid the garbage. Obedience dogs are very food motivated.
• Pet dogs shed. Show dogs blow coat.
• Pet dogs are in heat. Show dogs come into season.
• Pet dogs run around the house. Show dogs show tremendous reach and drive.
• Pet dogs stand. Show dogs stack.
• Pet dogs get a bath. Show dogs are groomed.
• Pet dogs beg for treats. Show dogs animate for bait.
• Pet dogs jump the fence. Show dogs demonstrate problem solving intelligence.
• Pet dogs bark at other dogs. Agility dogs show excitement before showing.
• Pet dogs are hyper. Show dogs are high-drive.
• Pet dogs steal socks and laundry. Show dogs show natural retrieving ability.

Buddys Dog Joke-The Blonde

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs and asked her what were their names.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're WATCH dogs!"

Buddys Dog Joke-The Funeral

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetary.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a large dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back were about 200 women walking in single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity any longer. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

Buddys Joke-Tellthe Counselor

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded.

"he comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food and make himself comfortable on my best furniture."

Buddys Dog Joke-A Fair Trade

Jake was riding the subway when he noticed a man carrying a cage with a small dog inside.

"That's a cute dog," Jake said.

"I got it for my wife," the man said.

"You're lucky," Jake said. "No one would ever make me a trade like that."

Buddys Joke-9 Reasons to be a Dog

1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast. No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your hair.
4. Having a wet nose is a sign of good health.
5. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
6. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
7. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
8. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
9. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.

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